Bev Hess
Contributing Writer

This is a life lesson I never expected to learn from running and triathlon. It is one that presents itself over and over again not only in running and triathlons but in life. We all have many fears, some of them stay hidden until there is a trigger or event that forces us to face them.

I had to recognize and face a hidden fear when I was getting ready to run my first marathon. I got injured late into the training season and this kept me from doing several of the long runs including running 26 miles before the marathon. Before my first half marathon (the year before) I ran 14 miles to be sure I could go the distance before the race. Prior to the marathon, I only made it to 18 miles. I spoke to Jeff Galloway who pioneered the run/walk method at the race expo and he gave me some great advice about doing 30 sec/30 sec intervals. I thought that sounded crazy but in hindsight, it was excellent advice.

I had opted to run the Goofy Challenge at Walt Disney World in Florida as my first marathon. This meant I would also run the half marathon 13.1 miles on the day before the marathon. My thinking was if I was going to run just one marathon I might as well make it Goofy? (note I have run 9 more since?) I did the 30/30s for the ½ marathon and finished just fine but thought how in the world can I run 26.2 tomorrow? I had no idea if I could make it that far. I thought perhaps it would be better if I waited until the following year so I could be sure I could finish the race.

Wow! Had I really thought that? I was that afraid of failing that I was willing not to start a race because I didn’t’ know if I could finish. What other things have I not done in my life because I was afraid of failing? There is a saying that a Dead Last Finish (DLF) trumps a Did Not Finish (DNF) which trumps a Did Not Start (DNS). Could I handle a DNF? Worse yet, could I handle a DNS?

I decided a DNF was better than a DNS. I had 26.2 miles to think about how I might rethink how I set goals in both my personal life as well as work life. I was very successful and had just earned the Chairman’s award at Microsoft. I thought I had set big bold goals but what I realized was that I had set big goals however in setting them I always knew in advance I had a way to achieve them. I was unsure if I set goals in which I saw no clear way to achieve them, if I could still reach them. What is the worst that could happen? Perhaps I would fall a bit short, but I could go so much farther than I ever imagined.

That is what happened to me on the marathon. I passed 18, I passed 20, I got to 22 and hit the wall!  It was incredibly hot that year, but I kept  going. I decided that I was not going to stop – that I could keep going until they picked me up. At mile 25 I started crying. The last mile, how cathartic. There is nothing like crossing the finish line of a marathon, and to think I almost missed this joy because I was afraid of failing!

In this time of COVID19, there is so much fear. It is stealing our hopes, dreams, plans, security, time with family and friends and more. It is easy to let so many fears steal the joy we can find in the simple pleasures of everyday. While we may not be doing all that we want or plan on doing, don’t let fear take away joy in your life. It can be the memories a song brings you. That joy can be watching butterflies or hummingbirds or using video conferencing with your family or friends. It might be taking a walk outside, doing yoga and feeling your breath, the wind on your face, riding your bike, swimming. Joy is in so many places if you just open your mind and heart. Let go of your expectations and plans. Be present and you will find joy.

Don’t let fear steal your joy. Go beyond your fear! If not now, when?