I  originally wrote this in 2012. A tough year for many. The economy, job loss, homes foreclosing, gas prices, loss of loved ones, natural disasters etc.-it wasn’t the best year for many.

I was reminded of this post as part of my Facebook memories.  As I read it, I realized that 2019 had also been a tough year for many, including us.  We had our share of deep hurt and disappointment. Our family changed in a variety of ways and we were helpless to do anything about it. The only thing we could do was accept things.  Reading this made me realize I, personally, really need the messaging  below.  And what better time to turn the list of 12 into the list of 19.

I encourage you to do something similar.  It’s good for your soul and helps you see the ray of light even in the darkest of situations. Force yourself to channel the good even when the bad is raining down on you like a firehose.

Rather than making New Year resolutions, I’m doing two things: 1) writing down 12 19 things I’m genuinely grateful for from 2012 2019 and 2) starting a “Gratitude Jar” to use throughout the upcoming year. The jar starts out empty and throughout the year, I’ll fill it with notes about good things that happen. On New Year’s Eve, I will empty it and be reminded of all the amazing, wonderful things have happened over the last year.

Below is my list of twelve nineteen things I’m grateful for from 2012 2019. What are yours?

  1. Health. I’m grateful for my health, and the health of my families and friends. This past year has hammered home the reality that w/out your health, you don’t have anything.
  2. Family. Family shapes us, supports us and is the essence of our lives. Mine is crazy, intelligent, messy and simply the most wonderful family ever. They know me at my best while loving me at my worst. Our family grows and, in that growth, love is expanded. Thank you to my family for the privilege of being my forever and ever ‘family’.
  3. Real friends. As our family has gone thru trials and tribulations, I’ve learned which friends were true friends. I’ve learned which friends love me enough to celebrate the blessings in my life while supporting me when I’ve dropped to one knee. I felt supported by my friends in various forms–phone calls, messages, cards, gifts, visits, acts of service and kindness–and I’m really thankful for each real friend in my life. While I reconnected with myself (see #4) this year, doing so gave me the courage to divorce myself from false friends and those I no longer felt joy in being with.
  4. Finding myself. Finding myself (my sense of self and ability to live fully as ‘me’) and using it in positive ways. At one point a few years ago, I lost “me”. I felt like Peter Pan waiting for Wendy to come sew my shadow-self back together with my real self. Finding myself and my voice made me whole again and able to offer my true gift of self to others and to be confident in my sense of one and purpose.
  5. Giving back. Being able to find anonymous ways to help other and give back. I’m not sure what I love more- giving back or being anonymous. I just think the combo is as good as peanut butter and jelly, milk and cookies, Bert and Ernie or salt and pepper.
  6. Saying “No” to jobs. Knowing its ok, in fact great, to be able to turn jobs down, confident in my decision that a company, organization group or hiring manager, don’t share my values. By having faith, the right things come along.
  7. Loving myself. If I don’t love myself, there is no way I can love anyone. Over the past year, I’ve gained a better understanding of myself and developed a great appreciation of the strength, skills and courage that exist within me. I have what it takes for any situation. I don’t need anyone’s approval or permission.
  8. Appreciating the “Now”. Being focused on the “now” not the past or future has allowed me to fully appreciate the small moments that make up my life rather than focusing on making something big happen tomorrow. Now is all I have; the past is only there as a teaching tool and tomorrow isn’t a given.
  9. Grace. Giving myself and others grace to make mistakes. Mistakes aren’t fatal. They are an opportunity to learn and grow. While uncomfortable, that’s where opportunity abounds. I’m grateful for all my painful lessons and for family (see #2) and friends (see #3) who gave me grace.
  10. Technology! Facebook has allowed me to “see” my friends, enjoy their ups and downs, understand their political opinions, see their varied trips here, there and everywhere, watch their families expand and morph and in general brought closeness in amazing ways. Pinterest provided me with so new recipes, creative projects, places/things to add to my bucket list and a zillion hours spent on wondrous things to help me in my life. My iPad and iPhone for their simplistic, elegant ways. Words with friends. To those of you, who regularly beat my butt, thank you for teaching me. For those I beat, you’re welcome! Kinect and Xbox – you rock.
  11. Belly laughs. Being able to laugh (really belly laugh until my stomach hurt so bad it almost mad me cry!) Laughter and humor are amazing neutralizers and can bring the worst of situations into perspective. Laughter brings the best of friends and family even closer.
  12. God. For creating me, proving parents who shaped me, for giving me boundless gifts and talent and an equal number of challenges to keep me on my toes. I appreciate the vote of confidence and opportunity to live up to my promise. You’re always there for me, sometimes in ways I don’t see or appreciate. Sometimes offering me challenges I don’t want yet giving me the skills and courage to see them thru. And if you’re wondering why I put God last in my list, it’s because God is the foundation for everything above on this list.

2019

  1. Grandkids. Thank you to my children for sharing the absolute delight of your precious babies with Gene and me. The magic moments that we snuggle reading a book, taking a walk, laughing, picking up bugs, swimming, making cookies or making rose napkins to set the table with are all moments I wouldn’t trade for anything. They make my heart so happy. I adore each one of them and value the time I am able to spend with them. Being a grandma is like nothing in the world you can imaging. It’s loving without borders or reason. Thank you again to my wonderful children who share these precious souls with us. The expression “we love you more than there are words to express” seems spot on.
  2. My creativity. Thank my family, friends and total strangers for appreciating and complimenting my artistic bent. You humble me greatly and I value your input and inclusion. There are times when I have more ideas than I will ever be able to complete. Not a bad proposition.
  3. More technology. Thank you, more technology. I love Alexa and all her sass and help, I love Etsy for its ease of use, I love publishing my blog on such easy to use technologies – Bluehost and Word Press. How amazing to be able to do something like this. Thank you for Instagram. The list could go forever as I doubt, I’ll ever tire of technological options.  My caution is to continue to use them to AUGMENT and ASSIST with our lives not replace our lives. Never turn a human interaction away for technology. (Unless it’s a unicorn robot. Then yeah, check it out!)
  4. Diversity. Being eternally grateful for diversity is a privilege. I do not want to only know one thing, one type of people, food or language, way of thinking or living. The world is so rich and full and it’s just waiting for each of us to ‘take a bite’ and experience all it offers.  Let me not forget to continue to sample freely from this robust cornucopia of humanity. Let me ever be a learner anew.
  5. My brain. As I’ve gotten older, I realize how little I’ve given my brain much thought or attention. And yet, there it is. Controlling everything about me. And yes, it’s slightly flawed. But I’ll take those flaws above other options.  I am reminding myself daily to hold a positive conversation with my brain.  You know it can’t hurt to establish a good working relationship with it. Together we need to team up to beat any adversity that approaches us, and I need to be a better teammate.
  6. Fearlessness. I used to be fearless and slowly have lost small pieces of it. For example, I hate riding or driving on the freeway. This is my year to fight back at fear and show it what this girl has in her soul. True grit, determination and a strong desire to put my mantel of fearlessness on again. So, watch out – this is my year to conquer.
  7. Gene. In 2012 I ended my list with God. It was and is appropriate. This year I’m ending it with my husband, Gene. I’m pretty sure there isn’t another guy like him anywhere. Throughout our marriage he’s been there.  Making me laugh, being distant in ways I’ll never understand, learning and doing new things with me, holding me up throughout the hurt we’ve experienced this year.  Asking me to hold him up in return. Encouraging me and expecting my best. Loving me when I had no right to be loved. Being so incredibly different than I am and fitting together so well despite this. You are my true love, now, tomorrow and forever.