Two things have been on my mind lately. Friends and family. Some call friends a tribe. I think tribe is more inclusive than friends. For me, tribe is both family and friends. However I’m only talking about the aspect of friends in this post.

Friends are extremely critical to our lives and many times overlooked or under curated. As I’ve gotten older Ive realized it’s incredibly important to have a base of friends you can trust implicitly, can count on, that you love, and that you can be totally and 100% yourself with. It’s important that they feel the same way about you.

Many of us confuse acquaintances with friends. Most of us are blessed with a wide range of acquaintances. Acquaintances, as well as friends, are key to our life and should in no way be discounted. Acquaintances will come and go. We find them in our neighborhood, in our childrens schools, gyms, in our work environment, church and many other similiar places. We interface and integrate with them but we do not have a deep soul connection with them. We do not share intimacy of thoughts with them and as we transition from one to the next that transition is done so with no regret.

Friends are much deeper and much dearer to us than acquaintances. They are the family our hearts have chosen. We share our intimate thoughts, our desires, our sorrows, laughter, and our dreams with them. We do so in a way in which we are unafraid of their response and we trust and have faith in the communication and interactions we share with them. They can take us at our very worst. They can make us laugh like no other. They can lift us up when we are so far down we’re never sure that will be able to look up again. They can be our spouses, our relatives, or simply strangers who have become one with our hearts as part of our extended family.

As I look across my life I realize that I am very fortunate. I have deep, unabiding and unconditional friendships with people. I don’t always feel like I have deserved or earned these friendships. Yet here these people are – standing by my side through so many things. Propping me up, pushing me forward, expecting me to succeed, and loving me no matter who I am or what I am going through. They are the people who are in my front row clapping the loudest when I succeed and they are still in the front row at my moments of defeat encouraging me to continue because I am capable of doing so and reminding me that they believe in me.

I don’t like to receive. I like to give. I’ve had to acknowledge that not only am I fortunate to have friends such as this but I am lucky to have become one. I have also realized that you cannot be an effective friend to only be one part of that friendship. To be a good friend you must also be willing to accept an extension of friendships to you and you must be able to offer your extension of friendship.

Finding true friends is one of the most demanding and challenging things your soul will do in this lifetime. Once you find your friends, you’ll know and you’ll never let them go for your hearts will beat together in friendship forever. They are the gems of life and they are far and few between. You’ll know when you have found them because you both think and act authentically in each other’s presence. You will experience unconditional love and an unconditional sense of self. And you will reciprocate all of this with love.

As you sit today collecting yourself and thinking about what to do tomorrow I hope that you think about your friends. I hope you think about yourself as a friend. I hope you tell your friends the value that they bring to your life and the happiness that you feel when you speak and hear their name. I I hope you tell them how much you savor the time you spend together. I hope you remind your self the value you bring to others as a friend. I hope that you have the type of friends I have because if you do you are blessed beyond expression. I wish nothing less for each person reading this.